Friday, December 11, 2009

Not so sure....

Do you ever regret making plans with someone?

Because that's the dilemma I am in right now. I told an old friend that I would meet up with her at Starbucks at 12 to catch up, and now I am REALLY regretting it.

This old friend I have know since middle school... we use to hangout all the time, and then we lost contact after she had her baby in high school. We then got back into contact and we use to hangout ALL the time.

She was a bridesmaid in my wedding, and we did pretty much everything together.

Until the day my world was rocked with the news my Husband wanted a divorce.

I know normally you would lean on your friends the most in such a drastic time in ones life, but she worked for my FIL, so it was a little awkward. She is the kind of friend that would put my business out there for them and to let them know how hard of a time I was having with the divorce. Or she would relay messages back and forth about their family to me and personally I didn't want to hear it. I would like to think that she didn't do this stuff on purpose, but she is one that likes the drama and likes to be in the center of EVERYTHING.

So I distanced myself from the whole situation, and started hanging out with my old girlfriends. After I made this decision my life despite the whole divorce seemed like a big relief off my shoulders. No more drama, no more relaying information back to them. I was free, to enjoy my 20's the way that I should have.

Back to this year and a big 3 years later, I received a random phone call from her at work, she started crying hysterical on the phone to me about how her marriage is over, and that her husband was cheating on her blah blah blah.. and that when he got back from sea that they would probably get a divorce.
I gave her my sympathy and left it at that.

I found her husbands email address on the ship, and emailed him asking what the problem was because I just received a phone call from his wife crying saying he was cheating on her.
(I only did this because I know how the old friend is and is VERY dramatic over every situation)

He responded and told me that he wasn't cheating on her that there was a girl on his ship that he was friends with (normally I would totally say cheating, but if you knew this guy you would know he isn't that kind). I said okay. Just wanted to make sure nothing else was going on.

Well the day before Thanksgiving I ran into her husband walking into Target, we talked said Happy Holidays and went our separate ways.

I just had a bug up my butt the other day, and decided to text old friend to see if everything was still going good between her and her husband since I had ran into him the other day.

We text back and forth for like an hour and then she invited me to go get Starbucks on Friday, I said sure.....

Which leads us to today, I am really having second thoughts about going to meet up with her. I don't want to be pulled back into the drama of her life. I adore her husband and kids, they were seriously like my second family, but I just don't think I can handle her right now.

So the question really is......

To go? Or not to go?



  1. just go... have a light-hearted discussion. if she tries to bring up drama, just nip it in the bud. seriously just put your foot down. if she tries to get all drama-filled in the convo, just simply say this.

    "i'd really rather not get involved. i'm sorry!"

    if it bothers her and she gets pissed... just say that you have a lot going on and you're just looking to have a positive & drama-less lunch!

  2. Tough one... I would say no go. I avoid drama at all costs... but, if you think you can go and just make some innocent small talk and skidaddle out of there, then go...

  3. I have a friend that I have this dilemma with. We've been friends for a long time but she brings and creates alot of drama around herself. I go meet her occasionally and catch but I realize she is no longer the person I need in my life. Just go but keep it light hearted.

  4. Hmm, sounds like you guys were super close growing up. I kind of had a falling out with a BFF like that too and she completely fell off the face of the earth when she got married. Which was a slap in the face, we were SUCH good friends, like family. Then she got divorced two years later and I decided to patch things up with her even though I'm sooo hard at forgiving. I'm thankful I did, maybe you will too. However, if you're not interested in drama, hold yourself to that! If she starts it all up, be a sympathetic friend for her, but hold yourself at arm's distance. Good luck! :-)

  5. don't do anything you don't want to do. k?

  6. go with your gut.. maybe postpone till after the Holidays! People tend to get a little extra emotional this time of year! maybe you will both be a little more focused after the start of next year..
    and just remember, people can change... but they usually DONT!

  7. Definitely don't go if you're not feeling it. First instincts are usually right. Cancel.

  8. I am a new follower just thought I would throw in my imput... I say Kristen said first instincts are usually right...


  9. Hmm, do whatever makes you feel comfortable, and if it may cause unnecessary drama my motto is to stay drama free. You deserve it, but hope it went well with whatever you decided!

  10. Im the worst at doing that kind of thing! I say Ill go because I dont have an excuse then there comes the drama and all that!

  11. Ahhh...i'm a little too late on this one hun, but i say "NO WAY...NO HOW". Come up with a last minute go-to...can't-get-out-of-situation!!! This girl seems to ooze drama and that my friend you should avoid at ALL cost.
    She may have a wonderful hubs & kids, but that doesn't make up for her behavior and what she's done to you in the past. Just can forgive, but never forget.

  12. I say hell no. Why put yourself back on drama.for.your.mama train. No way. Not worth it. Plus its only coffee. You can't feel bad for cancelling that.